T’was the Night of the Break-In

This is the latest in a series of articles that will regularly appear on KenoWi.com from Kenosha Police Department Crime Prevention Unit Officers Jeff Wamboldt and Ron Francis:

With the holidays fast approaching and 2011 soon coming to an end, we thought we would write a special safety article for the season. Together with Officer Friendly, Dennis Walsh, we wrote this poem based on “T’was the Night Before Christmas.” We hope you enjoy it. Have a safe and happy holiday season.

 

T’was the Night of the Break-In 

T’was the night of the break in, I again case your house.

I had cased it for weeks, quiet like a mouse.

There were no lights on, you had no alarm.

You made it so easy for me to do harm.

The house was all covered; there was snow on the ground.

No driveway was shoveled, there were drifts all around.

While in disguise and dark stocking cap,

This heist would be easy, it should be a snap.

I crept to the door, I knew it was there

I knelt down to find it, and did it with care.

Beneath the door mat, just as expected,

I found the spare key, the one you neglected.

It fit so perfectly in the brass latch.

It turns so smoothly, there wasn’t a catch.

I push the door open, ever so slowly,

And make my way in, ever so boldly.

With a penlight in hand, I make my way fast,

More quickly than cheetahs, monkeys or rats.

I move so steady, not a sound could be heard,

Not a creek nor a snap nor a kitten’s purr.

I move through your house searching for loot;

Taking care not to leave a print from my boot.

There is gold and silver and diamonds galore,

Watches and Ipods and much, much more.

Upstairs I fly, quick as a flash.

I know where you keep all of your cash.

Tens and twenties and hundreds too,

I’m taking it all, no Christmas for you.

As I carry my take, downstairs to the door,

A few gifts drop onto the floor.

I move so quickly to put them all back,

I stuff and stuff them into the sack.

I hear in the distance a sweet sounding chime

I look at the clock; it’s taking more time.

I must leave now; my pack is all full,

With presents and gifts that I just stole.

I peak out the window to see if it’s safe.

 

I need to make a stealthy escape.

I open the door and step outside

I see lights, hear sirens, I need to hide.

I drop my pack and begin to run.

It is Officer Nick he’s pointing his gun.

“Stop, don’t move!” I hear him shout.

“You’re not ruining Christmas, you miserable lout.”

In handcuffs I’m placed and put in the squad,

To jail I’ll go with no cash or Ipod.

My victims come home as I sit there so glum.

How could I have been so dumb, so dumb.

Before driving off, Officer Nick had to say

To my victims, whose house I had just preyed.

“Lock your windows and doors, make it looked lived in,

Or a victim you’ll be, again and again.

Join the Watch with your Neighbors; it’s the way to go.

It keeps burglars out, it keeps crime low.

So this special night, while travelling about

Keep your home protected both inside and out.

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